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When things fall apart

 2020 has not been kind to anyone.  Whether you lost your job or your home, experienced family medical issues, or simply had your patience tested, 2020 will be remembered as a challenging year. Some have been more fortunate than others, but there are few who will make it through completely unscathed.

I have been tested. I have been challenged. There were moments that I felt I would simply break, fall apart.

But I didn't.  I picked myself up and found a way to keep moving forward. It is weird when you think about it. I don't know about you, but I look back on certain moments and wonder how I made it through. I remember the feeling of sorrow and pain, I remember feeling so out on a ledge I could barely hold on, a small wind would push me right over. But somehow, that last bit of wind never came, somehow I found a way forward.

One day,  I will examine some of these events more closely, but for now, I will leave you with this.

I think I had no choice. Even as someone who suffers from clinical anxiety and depression, there was no choice. I had to hold on. Somewhere within me, it was necessary to cling to the smallest rock, something within me felt hope, even through the immense fear.

Fear and Hope. Who knew how closely those two were related.

I think there is something to acknowledging that anxiety is fear. Many people I have spoken to who have anxiety, don't make the connection. Anxiety is a beast of its own.  But maybe, if we look for the fear the anxiety is presenting to us. That is a more clear way to move forward.

Another topic to do some research on!

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