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Who the heck am I?

Over my first few weeks of thinking about who I am and what could make me a happier person. I have been confronted by several themes in my research and simply appearing in my life

  1. Awareness and Exploration

  2. Ask Questions

  3. Magic (and letting go)

Awareness and Exploration can be best summarized as a push to simply pay attention in everyday life, hard, and doing research, for me, easy. Doing research is something that comes incredibly naturally to me. I do it in my day to day career, I do it when I make basic purchases. (Hey, look at that, that is one thing I know about myself!)


Ask Questions, I have discovered tons of things about myself just by asking why I do something, or, my therapist asks me why I did or thought something. This concept of asking questions applies to that type of awareness (sited above) but the utilization of proven scientific surveys and even junky Cosmo-style surveys to know ourselves better. We can also ask those around us their perception (if we care) of us. Surveys designed for exactly this purpose, or at least created to categorize people accurately to more effectively study them in the future, can give us somewhat objective insight into who we are. What I have seen already, though, is that it is essential to use this information only for the positives, not to get caught up in any perceived weaknesses they may "uncover."


Magic (and letting go). Now this one is tough for me to admit, and, I am not sure what it means yet. What I know is that the word Magic has appeared in my life, positively, a variety of times. The first time it came up, it was used by a lovely woman I met at a Metaphysical Shop where I was looking to purchase incense and discuss Oracle Cards. She mentioned she had a class coming up on Magick, at that moment, especially standing with my very non-woo-y husband, it felt a little over the top. Then, during a therapy appointment, I asked my therapist, how to heal from a particular memory, now that I had recalled it. And her answer was, Just by talking about it, I really believe therapy is Magic". Now, I don't want my readers, (are you out there?) to think I am losing my mind. What I think the concept of magic popping up in my life means is that there is a huge aspect of this journey about letting go, and "like magic," I will experience healing, "like magic," I will experience joy.


As I am writing, I realize that another magical word was deeply part of my vocabulary. I can be forgetful and lose/misplace things, at times. This is something that massively spikes my anxiety. When this happens, I tend to say "it disappeared." In fact, for most of my life, I have believed that working hard was necessary for success, but, at the end of the day, failure is likely. As if beyond my control. Perhaps the appearance (another magical word) of the word Magic. Is to help me work towards seeing that when you let go amazing and magical things can happen! That not all things that are unexpected are bad.


Off to ruminate on that topic.


*For myself I bolded the magic associated words that were in this, mostly to help me think further on the topic.







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