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Bad Perfectionist

I had a realization. Trying to be perfect is not working. Beating myself up about that which I cannot truly control, is not working.  Walking around with the weight of the world, attempting to control everything around me, is not working.

And so, I started a self-care practice.  Just saying that almost makes me ever so slightly uncomfortable. 

Historically, I have not been someone to practice self-love. I have been someone who was focused on success, on performance, financial security, and self-improvement, but not happiness or joy or loving myself for who I am.  Not actively anyway. 

It is not as simple as that. Of course, nothing is ever as simple as it sounds. But that is the beginning of the story. 

Bad Perfectionist is a double entendre, It is meant as a half-joking reflection on what it means to be a perfectionist, the inevitable reality that you are never perfect and therefore bad at being a perfectionist. It is also meant in a scolding way.  A reminder to myself, and maybe also to you, that new habits are needed. New ways of thinking and speaking to yourself are needed. New expectations of yourself and the world around you, are needed.

My goal for this blog is to explore, to learn the science and data about self-improvement and developing a growth mindset. I also want to learn what the literature says it means to be a perfectionist, because, probably, I need to do the opposite to move forward!


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